play session..

haiz.. not easy having kids.. not easy having kids who cannot sit still even for a second..

that jonaas.. today was more like a play session rather than a tuition lesson.. grabbed my red pen, drew on the books, asked silly questions, kept telling me he saw my dad in the lift (duh.. what's the big deal..) n i even had to bribe him by sacrificing 1 packet of biscuits i bought which was meant for my 'oil for midnight burning'.. wert.. kids..

n i was like totally burnt out once i stepped out of his house.. manz.. energy-exhausting..

time to mug mug mug.. 1st paper tomorrow.. oh shit..

colouring session..

just came back from teaching the k2 kid.. was teaching him about colours.. so we had a small colouring session.. n i showed him some simple colour-mixing 'magic'..

reminded me of the days in philippines.. when we went to the day care centres to play with the kids.. anthony was one of the kids that i remember.. heh.. well.. even though he and my tuition kid, jonaas are abt of the same age.. the difference is.. anthony does not know the name of the colours.. all he know is.. to make use of the limited colours the crayons they have.. n colour whatever he feels like..

sigh.. how i wish kids in s'pore can be more innocent just like them..

have to get back to study.. been munching on 'xiao man tou', choco biscuits, chocs since the day i have been camping at home.. arghh.. spoiling my diet plan..

countdown.. 3 more days to my 1st paper.. *O_o*

me and anthony during a colouring session.. that's our work!! hee~ 

i remember..

it has been a long long time since i went back to my JC.. ever since the day when i got back my A levels results.. went back to take a look at the juniors from PA/AVA.. they were having some initiation or interaction with the newcomers today.. didn't see a lot of people today.. other than the juniors (whom i know none of them.. haha..) and also mr choe, ronald, bernice and xuan you..

stepping into the school sort of brought back memories.. the 2 years spent in there.. been through happy and tough times there..

i remembered my class bench.. used to be my favourite hang-out.. it has a good location.. near the field, near the canteen.. airy.. =) yup.. and my class went through many ups and downs.. but we, the 02S70 will still stand strong.. (i hope..) though i m a bit guilty that i have not been keeping in touch with them..

i remembered PA/AVA.. =) struggled in there, especially during the Talentime period.. many things happened.. but that bonded us together.. n mr choe.. he's still the same old mr choe.. haha.. had bad memories lar.. remembered me crying when he scolded (or rather nagged) at me.. oh well.. everything's over.. we are not enemies now lar.. still friends lar hor?? haha.. n ronald.. mature le wor.. haha.. but still on with his 'werts'.. haha.. PA culture..

though many things have changed throughout these years, with the change of the school name, merging.. hwa chong institution.. i still miss the old hwa chong.. miss the old days.. sigh.. getting old..

just received a call from april.. =P today's her birthday!! happy birthday gal!! though she won't get to see this.. really missed the days when we were there.. she was at the central plaza when she called me.. that beautiful place.. missed her and her buddies who are real great hip-hop dancers.. =)

how i wish there are stars above me right now.. every star out there to bless all my friends..

tuition tuition..

suddenly remembered i have a test tomorrow.. so i wanted to tell elaine (my neighbour) that i couldn't make it for jonaas' tuition tomorrow.. and guess what.. she told me that jonaas like me alot.. haha.. and said that i was good.. because i didn't give him any homework.. hahaha

a sense of satisfaction..

he didn't have any homework for now 'cos i haven't get to have the time to buy books for him.. he needs some proper chinese books anyway.. haha.. so i will definitely give him homework one fine day.. *evil laugh*

nah.. at least i find pleasure teaching him.. at least i don't flare up teaching him.. not like the other one.. sigh.. almost puke blood yesterday when going through those maths problem sums.. almost all wrong manz.. explained to her dunno how many times the concepts.. n yet she still can't get it.. when asking her questions, her answers would be either "dunno" or some guesses which don't make sense at all.. *faints*

i just hope she will learn and show some improvements in her results.. if not all my efforts really going down the drain someday..

perhaps i will really end up being a real tutor.. at the current rate of giving 8 hours of tuition, 4 days per week.. manz.. no way!!!

early weekend..

yeah.. finally done with the practical report.. sacrificed my stats tutorial this morning.. no wait.. i didn't sacrifice it.. i will never sacrifice my sleep for the tutorial.. haha.. supposed to hand in my stats homework due tomorrow.. but i completed and handed it in during my break in school this afternoon.. so that means i don't need to go to school tomorrow!! haha..

kareen crashed my calculus lecture today.. and think she got a shock when she saw my lecturer came walking in.. haha.. bowl-shaped haircut, long sleeve shirt, tie, and a big pot belly.. haha.. and she don't understand what he was talking about.. haha.. oh well.. perhaps i have succeeded in tuning my frequency to try understanding his weird language..

nicole went back m'sia for this weekend, my dad too is going back tomorrow for qing ming festival.. the house is gonna be a little bit quiet this weekend.. nah.. i will create havoc!! muahahaha..

shall go for a little retail therapy tomorrow before giving tuition.. =P

men of honor..

just watched the movie "men of honor" on tv.. haha.. as what i've said before.. i always watch movies on tv.. because it's free!! haha..

but anyway.. it was quite inspirational.. the courage to pursue one's dreams.. the courage to overcome failures.. the courage to do what's right.. manz.. how i wish i could be like the main character.. sometimes i feel that i'm not leading the life that i really wanted it to be.. but i can't bring myself to change it.. u can say i'm being pragmatic.. not thinking out of the box..

don't even know why and how i ended up being here.. doing things that i'm gradually losing interest in..

guess the only way to redemn myself is to do more overseas volunteer work.. bago city!!! miss all the people there.. mama remia, tricia, bong, ryan, nonoy, joseph, temogen, patrice, tinee, kaye, mondia's family, bago city college, all the children, all the people living there.. manz.. really missed them a lot.. *tears coming out.. sheesh..*

~i will be back.. in bago city..~

my new student..

got to meet my new student today.. still quite a loveable boy.. but can see that he's quite playful too.. haa.. but at least he learn things fast.. not like the other kid of mine.. will make u puke every lesson.. well.. i save my transport n time travelling to this new student's house as well.. cos his guardian (i think is his great grandmother..) just lives 2 floors below me.. haa.. super convenient.. haha..

but i think it's hard to teach a k2 kid.. manz.. must start everything from scratch.. but thank goodness he's not so bad as the other kid.. *pray hard things go well for this kid manz..*

for a moment i wonder how i ended up working with kids.. all my baby cousins, tuition, YEP philippines.. *ponder ponder ponder*

can't smile without you.. hee...

haha.. for people who like jazz.. this song is great.. by barry manilow.. great old song.. haha.. la la la..

You know I can’t smile without you
I can’t smile without you
I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
I’m finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you’re sad
I feel glad when you’re glad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brighten my day
Who would of believed that you where part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can’t smile without you
I can’t smile without you
I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
I’m finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when your sad
I feel glad when you’re glad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I’m finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can’t smile without you
I can’t smile without you
I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
I’m finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you’re glad
I feel sad when you’re sad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smile without you =P

ken hirai rocks!!

yeah manz.. he rocks.. love his songs..

downloaded his new-released song.. not really new actually.. was released in end november last year.. this song is simply great manz.. hitomi wo tojite.. heard this song over the radio.. then i suddenly recalled xue wen sang this song before.. awww..

i want ken hirai's album!!! but i'm broke.. *boohoo..*

what's my purpose in life..

my mum asked me.. why so "piah".. what's the purpose.. she asked me when i told her i had to go down to chinatown to get my CO costume measured..

it's not the first time she said that.. since young she was against me being so active in school stuffs or other things not related to academic studies.. but most of the time i went against her..

it's not that i don't want to study.. but i just don't like the way things are.. when studies revolve around grades and examinations.. i also learn more from other activities.. going for expeditions, going overseas for performances, joining volunteer work.. all these allow me to see things in a different prospective, letting me to find out what's "life" for me..

is learning to be smart (or to be smarter) more important than realising how to be a better person? without knowing what's the goals or purposes in life?

even though i have no clear idea what i'm going to be when i graduate (i don't even know if i can make it for honours) i just don't want to be tied down by school results.. i want to roam and expose myself to different environments and find the road that belongs to me..

sorry mum.. if i m demanding, asking for alot.. just let me be.. perhaps that's the way i want to lead my life.. perhaps things would be different for me when i grow up.. sorry mum.. i know it's not easy for u.. but i don't want to end up being a housewife and do the same things everyday..

yuhui likes ktv-ing..

*yawnz* woke up about an hour ago.. damn.. should start changing my sleeping timing.. it's not good to sleep late and waking up late..

anyway i went out for a ktv session with some of my YEP mates.. at this night-club-lookalike ktv (think it's really a night club.. oops).. quite cheap.. we only paid less than 10 bucks each.. haha.. sang from around 9pm to 2am.. woah.. first time doing that manz.. but it was really enjoyable.. haha.. had enough of singing, had enough of laughter.. especially when peishan suddenly just burst out screaming the song.. (yar.. screaming.. not singing..) haha.. to liven up the atmosphere.. to wake everybody up.. haha.. but we also got to hear her real voice.. like sally yeh n sammi cheng.. n she really got the talents manz.. damn nice voice.. =P should pursue a career in singing manz..

n the good thing about singing with them? there's someone to sing duets with me!! everytime i go out ktv-ing with my gal friends, it's very hard to sing a proper duet song.. 'cos there's no guy around.. haha.. but too bad there's no chuang wai available yesterday.. sheesh..

yup.. and i have decided to go for the 10-day switzerland itinerary.. was kinda fed up over this as well.. i m someone with no stand.. so i asked my mum to choose for me, either the 5-day or the 10-day plan.. n she always say "you decide yourself".. duh.. partly my fault.. i wanted to go for this trip.. n i sort of was being a bit demanding towards my parents.. there was a condition, though.. which is that i have to do well in exams.. hmm..

i shall start being a nerd now..

boring day..

phew.. more or less done with the budget report.. now only left with some receipts yet to be collected.. finally..

today's another at home.. brother went bai nian, parents having their own date together.. me left at home pasting receipts n editing the report.. haiz.. what an 'eventful' chinese new year huh..

but at least yini came n helped me.. =P she bought me lunch too.. if not i would have finished all the new year goodies at home.. haha..

time to do some homework.. though i m really reluctant to touch them.. arghh..

new year a time for reunion?

the 2nd day of new year.. well.. nothing really special about it i guess.. went to the same old places every year.. every 2nd day of new year i will go over to m'sia johore.. as usual.. this year's the same.. went to the temple, my dad's fren's house, my po-po's house.. quite exhausted.. long time spent in the car..

though new year is supposed to be a time for reunion, a chance to get to meet up with relatives n friends who i've not seen them for quite some time.. (well.. almost a year..) but somehow i don't really mingle with them.. partly due to my personality.. i'm a benchwarmer.. only talked to my cousins who are about the same age as me.. as for the older relatives, i would just greet them n smile at them.. nothing much to talk about.. other than asking where and what am i studying now, what have i been up to lately.. (philippines YEP!!!) n of course what happened to my knee.. now my mum spoke up for me.. (in a nagging tone.. "she fell down from a bicycle.. night cycling lor.. aiya.. too playful.. blah blah..) well.. at least i'm glad i'm able to save up some energy explaining.. heh..

suddenly i thought of the christmas spent in bago city.. families and friends coming together to celebrate christmas.. i could see the close n tight family bonds over there.. but i couldn't seem to feel that here.. perhaps the younger generations are too preoccupied with other materialistic thoughts like getting ang paos.. and i admit i have lost touch with my elders, with my relatives.. since i spend most of my time in school n in other activities.. i want to find back or forge the close bonds.. but it's just me.. i need time to get over myself.. i need time to warm up and to open up to the older ones..

perhaps i'm still too young to understand 'adult-stuff'.. perhaps they still see me as a kid.. but what if there isn't much time left? people come and go.. especially when my grandparents and my relatives of that generations are getting very much older.. how can i get to overcome that stigma of mine.. can anyone give me an answer...

new year new year..

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

oh well.. it sort of symbolises a new start.. hmm.. a time to start saving money for my year-end trip to philippines.. a time to start to be a better person.. a time to start working hard..

joseph wishes everyone kung hei fat choy n a healthy year ahead.. =) miss ya joseph!! haha.. was quite surprised to see his sms.. cos i never expected anyone of them to send me a message on chinese new year..

anyway yesterday i went for another round of shopping at 3 different shopping centres..(sounds a bit crazy..) n only bought a top.. for that i took 4 hours.. manz.. with people staring at my knee.. never mind.. i'm a star.. in a different way..

came home to clean up my room and had reunion dinner.. it was a humble one.. with only my family, grandpa grandma, my small aunt's family n my 2 cousins.. guess everyone has their own family.. can't possibly always be the case that them coming over to my grandpa side.. i'll still get to see them tomorrow.. =) then again.. they will ask about my knee.. sigh..

it's a new year! a new start! new hopes!!! =) wishing everyone a good health and may all wishes come true!! be happy everyday.. *smile*

thoughts..

was watching the YEP video again.. wooo.. memories flying back..

smiles on my face.. yup.. no tears.. i remember to keep smiling, and be strong.. =)

memories, sad or happy.. i chose the happy ones.. even if there are sad ones, i'll see it in a different way.. i'll see it in a better way.. *there's always a choice..*

the trip may have ended, but it's never the end of everything.. =)

YEP..

"keep smiling, be strong".. that was what i've shared with my fellow YEP team mates during the meeting at SIF.. this was what the philippino people told me..

great to see most of my team mates there during the meeting.. =P watched video clips of our days in philippines together.. *aww..* the room was filled with laughter, my eyes nearly filled with tears..

i guess that this meeting cum facilitation was the most enriching one so far.. all of us shared about our thoughts and what we felt for this trip we have embarked on together.. i saw many different perspectives coming from different people.. i heard many different thoughts coming from the heart of each and every one of them.. i shall listen n learn from all of them.. =)

tempted to join a new expedition to help the tsunami areas in sri lanka or indonesia, but unable to do so, due to financial contraints.. moreover, i need time to let this philippines trip make me a better person.. then i would b able to serve the community with a bigger heart.. =)

i injured my knee.. ouch..

yup.. that's right.. i injured my knee.. kinda bad.. i'm the 2nd huijie, with waipeng and aline being my first aiders.. haha.. think they very ke lian.. always being the first aiders.. kudos to them manz..

yar.. anyway it was the SPCA bike quest, so we had a night of cycling.. went to quite a number of places, starting from the east coast park.. past by joo chiat, paya lebar, mount vernon, serangoon, ang mo kio, novena, orchard, city hall n back to east coast..

haha.. but the main point is... i injured my knee.. i admit i m not a very good cyclist, kinda accident-prone too.. haha.. was going down the slope as we past by SPCA at mount vernon and the police gurkha camp area, n somehow i lost control of my bike.. n there u have it.. i fell n got that horrible cut + abrasions.. worse, the policemen on guard duty saw me falling off.. wahh.. embarrassed manz.. got to borrow iodine solution n the bandage from them also..

but i m strong!! haha.. continued with the whole thing, went to other places despite my butt n my knee screaming for help.. haha.. waipeng said we cycled 47 km.. woah.. what a feat.. haha.. anyway that was not the only time i fell off from the bike.. there's another incident i knocked into the railings near east coast park (though i didn't fall off..) n on the way back in the park i fell again.. knocking into a tree i think.. haha.. super suay..

so when we finally went back to the starting point.. i already couldn't walk properly.. n when one of the organisers was applying first aid to my knee.. especially when he used alcohol to swap over the wound.. i screamed like hell manz.. really super painful.. (don't believe, go try it yourself at your own risk..) had to deal with people who keep looking at my knee.. sheesh.. but luckily i got a free ride home from them.. haha..

n i took super super long for my bath.. can't let the wound get into contact with water.. n i had alot of other abrasions to clean up.. *ouch ouch ouch* i even put a chair inside the bathroom manz.. my dad was like, reprimanding me for going for this bike quest.. oh well.. it still won't stop me from joining this kind of activity in future.. haha..

think i'm going to have a problem going to school for this coming week.. especially when i have 2 lab sessions.. wonder if i can still wear jeans with my wounds like that.. n i can't wear nice skirts on chinese new year anymore!! need to cover up all my bruises.. arghh..

shall go catch some sleep before going to teach my naughty cousin for tuition.. n having to deal with my grandma's questions on my knee too.. sigh..

hole in the world..

hee.. came across this song by Eagles earlier on while watching tv at home.. nice song..

There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

They say that anger is just love disappointed.
They say that love is just a state of mind,
but all this fighting over who will be anointed.
Oh how can people be so blind

There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

Oh they tell me there's a place over yonder,
cool water running through the burning sand,
until we we learn to love one
another we never reach the promise land.

There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

unfortunately i didn't manage to find a website that has that song available online.. but i have downloaded the song.. soo.. if u want the song.. just drop me a message.. n perhaps i can think of a way.. haha..

here's one more.. =)