morning blues..

a mix of emotions in the morning.. wasn't a good one..

ah gong has been admitted to the hospital.. it was more saddening to see him lying on his floor (he sleeps on the floor, with just a pillow beneath his head) wheezing with difficulty.. while the other kids were sitting in the living room watching cartoons, not knowing what was going on.. ignorance is a bliss? perhaps..

and earlier, i woke up from a dream, that left me in a frightful daze.. i was running away, from people, from a situation so much similar to what i'm facing right now.. i believe that dreams are ways of interpreting what your subconscious mind is going through.. i was running, many times i came to a corner, many times i came so near to being stopped.. to a point where i was so frightened of the thought of being caught, and not wanting to witness that, i forced myself to wake up..

for a short while, i sat up, trying hard to sort things out.. i knew it was only 5am when i saw the living room's lights were on, and dad was preparing to go for work.. i tried going back to sleep, but the frightening feeling was still there.. it was only when i started seeing the break of dawn then i slowly drifted back into sleep..

i think i need a slow night walk tonight after seeing the kids..