ah gong, please hang on..

exhausted right now, after many hours in the hospital and settling the adminstrative stuff and his medication.. but at least ah gong is back home now.. =)

it scared me how fragile life is.. it made me regret how i didn't spend more time with the two old ones.. it made me realise how precious they are to me..

yes, sometimes i took them for granted, sometimes i was so wilful when under their care.. but they love me nevertheless..

it hurts when i see him wheezing away, and i could do nothing to relieve his uncomfort.. it hurts when he still ask me if i have eaten, even when he himself had no appetite.. it hurts when i see him drifting in and out of his sleep, talking about things that did not happen, imagining that he was still having his regular smoke..

and it hurts, when he told me that he knows that he is old, he knows when the time will come, and that i should not cry..

now i just want him to be happy and enjoy his last few years the way a grandfather who have been loved by many should be..

i love you, ah gong..