morbid talk..

has it ever occur to you, what will happen when you get old? will you be an active old man/woman who still be able to jog around the park, or down with health problems?

i know it's kinda morbid to talk about it, but the fact is, people do get old.. i admit i'm afraid of getting old, afraid of dying.. i don't think i can come into terms that easily, for an outdoor-loving and freedom-craving me to deal with it.. not at this age..

my family has a history of diabetes.. it hit my dad and my uncles at a young age.. whenever i see my dad sorting out his medicines, i will think to myself, will i become like that too, a few years down the road.. my mum always tell me to watch my diet.. but i would always shrug it off, continuing to indulge in my chocolates and coke, thinking that i'm still young..

some people told me before, that i would get some women-related health problems in future.. i don't know how true is that, but i suppose it wouldn't be a mere coincidence when more than 1 person said that to me, and when those fortune-telling seems to say the same thing.. i think there is some family history to this too, perhaps i ain't told about it, or maybe my family finds it a taboo to talk about it..

and for the past few months, my knees and ankles have been aching more than usual.. sometimes i even feel wobbly while walking.. even my finger joints are getting stiff.. i remembered that during my primary school days, the nurses would always write the same thing in my health booklet during annual check-ups - "drink more milk, three times a day"..

i used to never give it a hoot, but i suppose age is really catching up on me.. i can't imagine the day when i can't enjoy my favourite outdoor activities, when i can't roam around as freely as i want to.. or worse still, when i can't even perform simple tasks or losing the strength that i have.. and i don't wish that to come so soon..

how about you? what is your most feared thought when it comes to ageing?