different..

yar, it was nice to meet up with friends whom i have not seen for quite some time, but everytime when i see how well they are doing, i can't help but to compare myself with them.. yesterday's birthday party struck me kinda hard, that i'm still in a daze.. until now..

people are going away for internships and exchange programs.. to Neatherlands, Denmark, the States.. people are going away, or are already there for their courses, Australia, London, Boston.. i cannot compare with them, because i'm different.. i'm not born rich, i don't have 10K to go for exchange programs, i don't have a million to go overseas to study..

because i'm different..

people are doing well in their studies, having internships and attachments and are doing well.. i cannot compare with them, because i'm different.. i chose a different path, to enter into science when most of my friends are in business or accountancy.. when i now realise that i don't have that enough passion to keep me going on..

because i'm different..

people are looking good, mature, pretty, slim whatever.. i cannot compare with them, because i'm different.. i don't have a good body to start with, i enjoy eating and i'm not disciplined to keep myself to a diet.. i have a natural chubby face and baby fats.. i like to sit cross-legged with my legs on the chairs, and i can sit anywhere on the floor when i'm not wearing skirts.. i don't deny that i'm very "chor-lor" because i cannot restrict myself to be so girly.. i sometimes speak loudly because that's the way i am.. my hair is forever unkempt and frizzy, because i'm born with it.. because i'm not born rich to do frequent treatments.. because i'm not born rich to buy myself pretty clothes and shoes and bags..

because i'm different..

but i'm true to myself.. i don't act girly, i accept my baby fats as my characteristic.. i know i'm not rich, so i will never understand how some people can have the entire wardrobe of pretty and branded stuff and still think that they are not enough.. i'm not born rich, i don't live in condos or landed properties.. i never had a discman, and i don't have a mp3 player, a laptop.. i know i'm not studious and so be it.. i find other things that can keep me going..

because i'm different..

i know people can never understand why i'm so passionate about going back to philippines and learning the language, so be it.. don't tell me how dangerous, how backward it is, i know that.. but do you know the pleasure and the sense of satisfaction when you see the smiles on the children's faces? do you know how good it feels when you have become part of the people's lives, part of their families?

because i'm different.. because that's the way i am.. and i shall be contented with what i have.. because true happiness cannot be measured with what you have..